Condolence: A Farewell to Barbara

I have lost a sister and I am feeling remarkably alone without her.

As young kids there was very little family around us….our father died when we were toddlers and our mother was a force at once protective and also a minefield of unpredictable demands. Barbara was my last grasp of early shared memory to make sense of where I came from and who I have become.

As kids, she tormented me with her “mastery” of games like Monopoly….I never had a chance. She took care of me by nourishing me with her trademark “sliced raw potato and mayonnaise” sandwiches. She delighted me by building exotic Indian tents in our living room to play in. She taught me how to dance the “Lindy” and the ChaCha from her “45” records. She surprised me by knowing so many correct answers to 1950’s TV quiz show questions. And she infuriated me constantly as only older sisters know how to do.

As we got older, through our teens and into our twenties , our independent lives made way for less awareness of each other’s journey. But we kept in touch.

Barbara and Carl married in February 1968 and lived in Greenwich Village. When I returned to the states after Vietnam they generously welcomed me to their place to begin my resettling in NYC. During the next six years, we saw each other frequently and I grew to know them well.

Soon after I moved to Michigan to begin my career at Ford Motor Company I met and fell “hard” for Patricia, my wife. At first, Barbara urged caution in her phone advice to me but after meeting Patti during our first visit to the Wiedemann’s in NYC, she enthusiastically embraced her future sister-in-law.

Barbara and Carl continued to enrich our lives by introducing us to their life in the city and their favorite places to go for food and drink. They gave us glorious autumn weeks at their condo in Sag Harbor. They gave us reason to discover Cincinnati — it’s neighborhoods, museums, the Roebling Bridge, Graeter’s ice cream and the Reds.

I’d like to think that we, in part, returned the favor in their trips to our Michigan homes. After Carl passed away, Barbara and Aunt Mary Dooin often came to share our retirement “country life” in the hills southwest of Ann Arbor. Barbara loved the contours of our property, the comfort of our home and the riches that came out of our kitchen. She loved to be entertained and she was the perfect audience for what came to the dinner table. Her enthusiasm always made it worth the effort. I sensed in those visits, that Barbara was happy for me, that she was pleased that I was settled and healthy and living a full and rich life. Her satisfaction is the closest I will ever get to a sense of pride that her kid brother did okay for himself.

Barbara and I grew up to be very different people but never ignored our bond from our early years. My sister could drive me crazy at times, and vice-versa, but our bond as siblings was keenly felt. We genuinely loved each other and could say it out loud without hesitation.

What Barbara gave me, and what I am only beginning to realize the magnitude of, was the space to live my life free of the burden, both physical and emotional, of dealing with and caring for our mother over most of my adult life. Barbara gave me a “pass” and she never once made me feel guilty about what was left at her door. I think she knew she was the better suited of the two of us to deal with the certainty of hurt and turmoil and she protected me from the damage she knew would come my way had she not.

Finally, to those of you who provided love and care and friendship to my sister during the years she lived in Cincinnati, Patty and I are very grateful. Throughout my busy life up in Michigan, Barbara and I infrequently talked and all I could do, all she ever asked me to do, was to be there to listen. You are the ones who did the heavy lifting when Barbara needed help — and she needed lots of help especially in the last few years. Beyond the logistics of your support, you gave generously of your time and your friendship and we are comforted to know that her generous, warm spirit and the love she wanted to share with the world had a safe place to land. Thank you.

I ask that as you go about living your lives, that on an especially beautiful day, or when you are in a beautiful garden, or when you have a delicious plate of food put in front of you, or a perfectly chilled glass of wine at your lips — that you remember my sister, who loved all of these things and more. I ask that you remember the zest she had for life, for the beauty of nature and earth’s creatures, for her generosity and the delight she had in her friends. If we do that, my sister will be honored and remembered long after we say “goodbye” today.

John Glidewell

Condolence: We are so sorry to hear of Barbara's passing. We regret that we cannot be there for Emily, Zac, and John at this time. Barbara was such a good friend, and we can hear her voice as we write this. She will always be loved.
Dorothy and Tom Hoobler

Condolence: We wish to express our condolences to Barbara's friends and family, especially John and Pat Glidewell and Emily. Emily, we never had the opportunity to meet you or your dad, but we did meet your mom several times when she visited your Uncle John and Aunt Pat in Michigan. We thoroughly enjoyed delicious food and wine, excellent music, and conversation with our dear friends, Pat and John, Barbara, and sometimes the beautiful Mary. Barbara's devotion to Mary was lovely to witness.

We feel fortunate to have had the chance to meet John's sister. Barbara was a lovely woman. Again, we are sorry for your loss.
Carol and James

Condolence: Barbara Wiedemann loved many things. Foremost her daughter Emily, grandson Edward, and Carl. And not far behind (literally), her cats. Going out to dinner with Barbara and Carl was always an interesting and enjoyable adventure. It was always very late in Midwestern terms, due to Carls schedule of years of teaching night school in New York. We would always get an update on Emily's school progress, and social goings on. here was no-one she was more proud of than Emily. The relationship that Barbara and Carl had, was one of the closest that I have ever seen. Quirky and sincere as the day is long. They were cute together and supported each other in everything. Barbara would be worried about her cats until she got back home. Carl tolerated the cats, because he knew how much they meant to Barbara.

I will miss, but forever remember "The Wiedemann's".

Bill

Condolence: My deepest condolences to the family at this difficult time. I hope the words at Rev.21:4 bring you comfort. It says: "God will wipe out every tear from their eyes,and death will be no more,neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.” For more information see JW.org